Two Really Bad Drivers in One Day

I don't usually bother with the "bad-Boston-driver" stories, but these were too good to pass up.

Road Story: Driving home from work yesterday, I could dimly see in my rearview mirror an oncoming ambulance. Since I was at least a half-mile or more ahead (and in a different lane), I just bided my time until it got closer before pulling over to let it pass. In the meantime, I glanced frequently in the mirror to watch its oncoming progress. It wasn't moving that fast--for safety's sake, no doubt--but had the full complement of lights and sirens. That ambulance meant business. But although all the other cars did the proper thing of moving aside, one didn't. Was the driver talking on a cell phone? Lost in iPod world, perhaps?

There was actually little traffic (and plenty of room to maneuver away from the ambulance), but instead of just, say, moving into the adjacent lane, that one car came to a complete halt directly in front of the ambulance. What is that? Panic? Some idiot's idea of a joke? Or just some kind of an idiot, period?

The poor ambulance driver honked his horn (that weird, echo-y sounding horns emergency vehicles have) until the car started moving again (fairly slowly) and finally pulled aside to let the ambulance pass.

Parking Lot Story: Making a run to Johnny Rocket's in the Burlington Mall, I turned into a lane. Up ahead, I could see parking, lots of parking--if you were willing to walk an extra 50 feet back to the mall. But apparently the woman driving toward me had other ideas. She had staked out a space (in the middle of the row) about to be vacated by another shopper. But instead of pulling over to one side to wait so that I (and others--there were others) could drive around, she planted her car firmly in the center of the driving lane, making it impossible to go around. Again, plenty of room to go around. Unless you stopped in the middle of the driving lane.

I understand that sort of thing at the holidays, when an empty parking space can start a turf war. But based on the direction she was headed, she had passed at least 50 empty, easy-to-get-into spaces. I mention that last part because--of course--she couldn't make her swing into the space she wanted in one swoop.(BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GIVE YOURSELF ENOUGH ROOM, LADY--YOU WAITED IN THE WRONG PLACE. IT'S SIMPLE PHYSICS. Oh, sorry, did I just yell?) Yes, she had Massachusetts license plates, like Ambulance Boy. Maybe she was his mother?

I'm usually very forgiving of driving errors; I've made a few myself. But really, people, let's try not to give the good people of Mass. a bad name through sheer boneheadedness. Put away the iPod. Put away the cell phone. Come back to Physics 101.