The Six Sweetest Words

It's that time of year--the days are short, people are shopping, baking, getting together with friends--there's a sense of expectation in the air. So what better time than to say those six oh-so-sweet words to people everywhere:

"I'm Secretary of Defense Robert Gates."

(What? You thought I was going to say "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"? No way, baby--that's not even close.)